So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn’t sit for even one, that’s the journey of the warrior.
~Pema Chodron
SO, A FEW WEEKS AGO, I MADE REFERENCE TO MY INNER WARRIOR.
Let’s just call her Wise Warrior Woman. WWW for short. We might even consider that she looks a little like the goddess Athena. That’s her in the photo, looking all wise and knowing. Of course, it’s easy to pull that off when you’re a statue.
Anyway, she’s been teaching me some stuff during my Meaning Mondays adventure. And as it turns out, I’m a pretty good student most of the time.
I understand what she’s saying about how a warrior sometimes needs to step up and fight, preferably for win-win outcomes. I also get her point about the importance of retreating, that smart warriors know when to step back and regroup to marshall their forces. Plus I’ve learned that even surrender is occasionally a viable option.
While I may not have mastered these lessons yet, at least I’m on the path. But there’s one warrior subject I’m still struggling with, and boy, is it bringing down my GPA.
That would be the area called Discipline and Focus.
DISCIPLINE AND FOCUS. FOCUS AND DISCIPLINE.
See? I have to repeat it several times to get my mind around it. Because there’s this other part of me that tries to interfere. Let’s just call her Curious Creative Chick. CCC for short.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love CCC. We go way back, and I owe her a lot. But let’s face it, she doesn’t need to run the show all the time. In fact, it’s high time she teamed up with WWW.
I figure they’re kind of like Claude Rains and Humphrey Bogart at the end of Casablanca. Just imagine it: Curious Creative Chick turns to Wise Warrior Woman and says, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” And they walk off into the sunset, arm-in-arm.
Well, maybe they’re not walking arm-in-arm yet, but at least they’re trying. And they’re talking. In fact, here’s a replay of a recent morning they spent together.
CURIOUS CREATIVE CHICK SPENDS THE MORNING WITH WISE WARRIOR WOMAN
WWW: Wake up! We’re gonna get a lot done today.
CCC: Mmmmm. The bed is sooooo warm. Let’s snooze a little.
WWW: Weren’t you planning to start each day with one hour of writing? What’s the point if you stay in bed?
CCC: Oh. OK. How about I grab a bowl of cereal and cup of decaf, then meet you at the computer?
WWW: Sounds good.
30 MINUTES LATER, CCC SITS DOWN AND TURNS ON THE COMPUTER
WWW: Wow, that took awhile.
CCC: Well, see, I was waiting for the coffee when I noticed a red-breasted hummingbird at the feeder. Had to step outside. By the way, it’s gorgeous today.
WWW: I know. How about we enjoy the view from here, as we write?
CCC: Great!
WRITING BEGINS. A FEW MINUTES PASS.
WWW: What are you doing?
CCC: Reading what I’ve written so far.
WWW: It’s only a few sentences. Keep going.
CCC: I will. But you know what, I’m gonna check email.
WWW: Remember, you said no email until after you’d written for one hour.
CCC: Did I really say that? I thought you said that.
WWW: Hmm, I suppose it was a mutual decision.
CCC: Yeah. (Distracted now.) Hey look! I got an email from Cheryl. And a few more comments on my blog. Haha! Oh, this is funny. You’ve gotta read it.
WWW: It is funny. And how’s the writing going?
CCC: I need some music.
WWW: Good idea. Let’s do classical. You know, the Mozart Effect.
CCC: Um, I was thinking Stevie Wonder.
WWW: He’s fabulous. You like to sing along with him, don’t you?
CCC: Yeeesss. OK, I get your point. That might be a little distracting. How about Aaron Copland?
WWW: Nice choice.
THE MORNING PROGRESSES, WITH MORE STOPS AND STARTS. AFTER ABOUT 90 MINUTES, AN HOUR OF WRITING HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED.
WWW: Good job!
CCC: Thanks, I need a break.
WWW: You know, you’ve had a few breaks already. What else do you want to work on?
CCC: Cleaning up in here.
WWW: Start with the smallest pile. It’ll go faster.
CCC: Maybe I should cook that chicken instead.
WWW: Really?
CCC: (Slightly defensive.) Well I don’t want it to go bad. It’s organic. Free-range. On sale! I’m making a Mediterranean dish.
WWW: Didn’t you just buy it yesterday? If you wait until tomorrow, how likely is it to go bad?
CCC: (Sighs.) Not much.
WWW: And how long have these piles been stacking up?
CCC: Four months.
WWW: OK, let’s get down to business then.
CCC: Hey, don’t you love these Sharpie pens? The colors? I hardly ever get a chance to use them. (Beginning to doodle.)
WWW: That’s pretty.
CCC: Yes! This is my favorite. Reminds me of the purple trumpet vine that’s starting to bloom. Want to go look at it?
WWW: We can see it through the window. And we went out to stare at it yesterday.
CCC: I know, I’m not losing my memory. I just thought it might be fun.
WWW: Yes. In the meantime, though, how many piles have we tackled?
CCC: Right, Sarge!
THEY GET TO WORK. PROGRESS IS SLOW.
CCC: I’m bored! I need my boredom ritual!
WWW: Is it possible you’re not really bored, but resisting doing a job that’s not your favorite?
CCC: I guess.
WWW: So how about you do just a little bit more, say, five minutes?
CCC: Alright. (She mopes a bit.)
THE CLEANING RESUMES. TIME PASSES. EVEN THOUGH THEY DON’T GET IT ALL DONE, THEY MAKE A BIG DENT IN THE PILES.
CCC: Whew! What a relief to get that done.
WWW: Feels good, doesn’t it?
CCC: Yes!
WWW: What’s next?
CCC: Clients today. Got to head over to my office.
WWW: Right, you wanted to get there early to look over the new lease.
CCC: Oh, thanks for reminding me.
WWW: Got your files ready to go?
CCC: Check!
WWW: Got your datebook, phone, and iPod?
CCC: Check! Check! Check!
WWW: Know what you’re going to wear?
CCC: Check! My green linen blouse and trouser jeans. Plus my favorite scarf, of course.
WWW: Of course.
THEY HEAD TO THE BEDROOM. CCC PULLS OUT THE CLOTHES AND SCARF.
CCC: Ooops! I forgot. Spilled my soup on it last week. Never took it to the cleaners.
WWW: Yeah, black beans don’t do much for that scarf.
CCC: But wait! (She pulls out six more scarves, intent on trying each one on.) What about this one? Or this? The colors are good but I don’t know if the fabric goes with linen. I think there’s another one here…
WWW: Hey, you know what? (She plucks a scarf from the pile.) Trust me. They’re all good. So just wear this one.
WITH THAT, THEY DRESS AND LEAVE THE HOUSE. AND CAN BE SEEN WALKING ARM-IN-ARM, INTO THE AFTERNOON SUN.
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How about you, my friends? Got any divergent parts of yourself that are trying to come together? What are they sayin’ to each other? Let’s have some fun and start a conversation about it today.
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WHY NOT START NOW?
living deep studio 
Patty — Oh, this was so clever:~) I loved the dialogue and both your CCC and your WWW:~)
Sometimes, however, I have the opposite problem. I have PPP, pushy, persistent, pain-in-the-neck. She needs a CCC badly.
She doesn’t like to take breaks when working on a project, including bathroom/food breaks…until absolutely forced to!
She’s a hard task master, but she does get at least ONE thing done…it’s whatever she’s focused on. Everything else, unfortunately, has to wait.
This means the bed goes unmade, the groceries stay in the store, and the dog has to beg for her food until PPP finishes with me:~)
So, I’d love it if you sent CCC to come visit my house soon. Perhaps she can make friends with PPP and give me break!!!
You know, Sara, I think we have the opposites. If you want me to send over CCC for a visit, how about you bring PPP over my way? That would be an interesting exchange! Thanks.
Ha ha! {Patty, I think you’ve just described me with CCC and WWW bantering with each other. I honestly don’t know which is more dominant; I just make sure each one is satisfied.
I also have the motivated and the lazy, the serious and the silly, he idealistic and the pragmatic, the thinking and the feeling to name a few. I think it’s a good thing to embrace both sides rather than be forced to pick one or the other…
Well that’s wonderful to hear, Belinda, that you know how to make each one satisfied and neither is dominant. CCC has been dominant for me for a long time, and while she’s definitely learning a lot from WWW, I couldn’t say they’re in balance yet. Thanks!
Good stuff Patty! My CCD (curious creative dude) is always trying to get me off track, but he’s really fun to hang out with. Luckily my WWM (wise warrior man) actually got some stuff done yesterday. I made some good progress on some task items on my blog. They actually worked together for a while as CCD played with some new background colors while WWM worked on some new plugins, and then they both worked together on today’s post.
It was nice to have them working together to get some stuff done. Especially since FFG (fun family guy) has been keeping everyone busy enjoying the great weather we’ve been having and playing with the family.
Oh, I like that Eric – curious creative dude and wise warrior man. Sounds like they are developing quite a partnership. But fun family guy is smart to assert his presence, because is there anything better than play? Thanks!
Fun narrative. I think we all have a little of each in us, and thank goodness for that.
Yes, from an archetypal perspective, we all have all of it in us. Unfortunately, I can sometimes go into trance around CCC, and as much as I love her, she can be little crazy-making at times. Thanks, Erin!
Wow. This is just like me, except I’m the blokey version! There’s a constant war going on between Apathetic Whimsy Whinger (AWW) and Get Running Realist (GRR), and I’m afraid to say that so far they don’t like each other very much. GRR is far too aggressive for AWW’s taste, and AWW is too much of an evolutionary cul-de-sac for GRR to take seriously! I may have to add a third personality to act as a mediator…
Wow – “evolutionary cul-de-sac” – now I’m going to have to remember that one, Tony. And I think you’re on to something with your idea of a mediator. Probably some inner character that is a little of both, I suspect. Thanks!
LOL… I love the acronyms you came up with for this post, Patty. Your WWW was very accommodating to CCC. I think the two of you will be very happy together. 🙂 My “NO” Night Owl wrestles with my “YES” Yearning for Easy Sleep”… citing irreconcilable differences. I’m with Tony, I need to find a mediator…
Oh, I’m so glad you noticed that, Davina. She is accommodating but not so much that we never get anything done, and as I get to know her better, I see her wisdom about discipline and focus. She knows how to do it just right, gently but firmly. But you’ve hit a nerve with the sleep conversation. WWW is trying on that one, although not getting as far as fast as she would like. Thanks!
I have CCC too, but no WWW. I have Inner Mom. My convo’s go like this:
CCC: I wrote a new poem.
IM: You’re still doing that? Your father started a novel when we were newleyweds and never even finished it. I helped him research it, but he never did anything with it.
CCC:When was that?
IM: 1939.
CCC: Oh. Well, anyway, I wrote this poem.
IM: Your brother (or niece, or old high school friend) just got a high paying job in England.
CCC: The poem won the Nobel prize for literature, and I was named Poet Laureate of the United States.
IM: I wish you would do something different with your hair.
CCC: Nice talking to you, Mom.
IM: (heavy sigh)
Funny, Shay! And so true. You IM is quite the manipulator. I actually used to think that I needed to develop my caregiver archetype, akin to your inner mom. But lately I’ve realized that she comes out too much like a martyr, and it’s really the warrior I need right now. She’s been there all along, just buried. Thanks!
You’re one funny and clever lady. Very nicely done. It reminds me of my inner Penelope and Odysseus. I also have a TT inside me: a tenacious teen. She rebels, she dreams, she still wants it all. And yes, life is cool and pretty -like the scarf- when they all get along. You made me smile. Thank you for that.
Yes, we’re on the same wavelength Maryse. Right after I finished this, I read your Penelope post, and I thought there’s some interesting mythology flying back and forth in the blogosphere. Now tenacious teen: that sounds like quite an inner character. I think perhaps I have a little of her too. Thanks!
I read this – sat on it over night realizing that I have my CCC a bit under wraps these days. This thought was furthered when I read the other wonderful comments posted here… wow. Creativity in action! I have been allowing my BPT (Big Picture Thinker) and my IA (Inner Analyst) – the latter has a very hard time accepting the fact that *everything* is not meant to be understood – a bit more control that is probably healthy at this point. HLJ (head of Laughter and Joy) and the Diva have enjoyed their fair share I the spot light as, despite what one might think, the latter two get along with just about everyone including BPT and IA. But my dreamer and my creative/imagination machine have been short changed asked only to consider the options associated with the challenges undertaken by IA and BPT. *sigh* It is time to let BPT and IA have a break… time to let my imagination machine and creative writing flourish – So I wrote a poem for the Dragonfly at the Sharing Connection! Why not start now, right!
That is wonderful! I mean, to be able to get BPT and IA to sit back long enough to write a poem. Brilliant! I’ll go check it out as soon as I get a chance. Thanks!
It is all a process. You have done a great job of narrating your process. Thanks.
So true, Mark. It’s all about process. Thanks for the visit.
Hi Patty,
your creative chick must have written this. reads like a great play. you could get this published in a magazine I bet for, say, entrepreneurs?
I totally relate to the distractions.
sometimes I wonder if it’s this constant push to be accomplishing oodles of things that’s not natural to us humans. The constant to do lists. maybe, we’d rather be lallygagging in a savannah somewhere?
Leonardo DaVinci used to wander around a lot to get his great ideas. Thoreau said we should all walk at least four hours a day.
Maybe we need to be up front and wander more? To get that one really great idea for the day or do that one magnificent activity we really want to? I find walking helps me with my writing or sitting in cafes with a friend. I always take a notebook.
Now this post gave me a great idea for a post!
Triple thanks, Giulietta
Thank you, Giulietta! I think Leonardo and Thoreau had it right. That’s probably why I’m so in love with Jane Austen novels lately. They walk a lot, talk to each other a lot, visit, and then they have their “employment”: reading, sewing, writing, painting, and whatnot. What we might call a good bit of lallygagging, a word which I’m so glad you reminded me of. Too bad the world doesn’t work that way any longer. Although, to be fair, it only ever worked that way for a certain class of people.
Hi Patty! This was too cute! I have a whole team of “others” to dialogue with – you will be sending the guys with the white jackets after me if I confess to them all, haha! Let’s put it this way – I never feel alone!
hugs
suzen
Delightful reframe, suZen. Our inner cast of characters keeps us company so we don’t feel lonely. Love it. Hugs!
Hi Patty,
What a fun read. I was laughing at the part about the stacks on your desk – the job you like the least. I hear you.
Unfortunately I don’t listen as well as you. My NN (nagging Nancy) has to nag for a day or two before I’ll get down to business, and she lets me know what I promised the minute I wake up. I’m like, “yeah, yeah, yeah. What ever…” But then I get it done so I don’t have to listen to that darn nagging.
Well, Barbara, I have to admit to taking a little dramatic license with this. I don’t always listen so well, either. But I’m trying! And I am learning. For sure it’s a “remembering every day” process though. And in the end, it sounds like NN does serve a purpose for her, with her whiny, naggy, voice. Thanks for stopping by!
Patty –
Clever dialog. One of my favourite song lyrics is “the two sides of my brain need to hold a meeting”. I love that you recognize the often competing impulses we all feel between the need for order, structure and success and the cry for spontaneity, creativity and self-expression. Sometimes I feel my life is a constant balancing act on this scale – keeping the marble on the tipping-table and it takes work to do that. I am sure that you would be lost without your WWW or your CCC, so treat them both well and keep walking in to the sunset!
Phil
Love that analogy, Phil – “keeping the marble on the tipping-table.” You seem to be pretty good at that, and I admire you for it. And yes, I have been somewhat lost at times, especially when WWW doesn’t get enough air time. Thanks, Phil!
I have enormous self-discipline when it comes to perfecting the art of procrastinating. Deadlines whoosh right by.
For years, like most responsible adults, I had tried self-improvement tricks, with only limited success. Self-discipline just doesn’t sit right with me; I don’t even like the word.
These days I simply allow and watch. The same things still happen, it seems, but with less resistance now.
Very funny article–enjoyed and resemble it.
Isn’t that the truth? If we could equate self-discipline with procrastination, we’d be good to go! I don’t do well with self-discipline strategies either. But my Warrior Woman seems to be an archetype who allows me to step back and watch, so that I can focus in a more organic way. I like that about her. Thanks for stopping by Kaushik!
Oh dear–
My CCC and WWW are always at it as well…just like yours. Except that I live on my boat and most days are sunny, warm, absolutely perfect for CCC to completely engage. WWW kicks in for early morning rising and evening wind down…I tackle piles, do chores, anything so that CCC may have free reign most of the day..she’s quite spirited and going to get it anyway:)
Sounds like the two of them have really worked out a partnership, Joy. And I agree with you that CCC needs more time to completely engage. I do value WWW, but as you say in many ways she is there to make it easier for CCC. Thanks for stopping by!
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